Arm Us

As teachers we deal with a lot of crap......crap from students, crap from lawmakers, crap from the public, sometimes LITERAL CRAP and crap from people who know nothing about what teaching really is. I love when people who have no idea what my job is or anything about it make decisions for me....its like one of my favorite things. Im sure that all of my coworkers agree...

These people, who don't know teaching from their own butt, want to give teachers guns. Guns.....GUNS. Teachers with guns. I just want you to say that over and over until you hear how stupid it sounds.

So besides the fact that its totally idiotic, there are some other issues with this idea.
Here are a few;
-who is going to pay for this? My school didn't even have the money for paper this year at one point..
-How are you going to 100% ensure that these guns won't get into the hands of a child?
-I am assuming that these guns would have to be under lock and key at all times soooooooo if there is an active shooter situation the teacher will have to get their key, go to the lock box, unlock it, get it out and then protect their students. OH AND ALSO DURING THIS THEY HAVE TO GET THEIR STUDENTS TO A SAFE AND QUIET SPACE.....easy.

Okay basically this idea is dumb and we need to stop talking about it.

There are some things that teachers would really love to be armed with. These ideas are from teachers. Teachers who are in the trenches. Teachers who are teaching currently and are facing the struggles DAILY!

Arm me with

• Smaller class sizes 
• This is really important. Currently classes are overflowing and continue to get bigger. Teachers aren't given the opportunity to get to know their students because they are busy wrangling the large numbers in their room. If you come at me and say that "this is your job" or "you signed up for this" we will not be cool for very long. 
• Trained professionals to help with students in need

• all schools need more special ed teachers, more counselors and basically more hands on deck. Personally in my building our special ed teachers are busting at the seems with the students on their caseload. They aren't able to give the students the attention they need and it is literally not their fault at all! They have to run between different grade levels, work around lunches and preps, find a place to work with their students and a ton of other obstacles they have to jump over before they can even start to WORK WITH THEIR KIDDOS! 
• We also need counselors and people to work with students who have some serious emotional issues. There are students who have gone through more than I could even imagine and we have no one to work with them. Their teacher is responsible for being their counselor, and while teachers are caring and want the best for their students they are not trained to help these kiddos to the extent that they need! 
• Supplies
• Like I said above....at one point we didn't even have money for paper.....in my district the teachers get $100 to spend on their classroom.....that buys pencils for the year....I'm serious....I understand that its expensive to fund classes but like I don't know maybe use the money you're saving on our salaries to help classrooms out?

• A curriculum that works
• There have been some amazing curricula in circulation but I know with our district we are so quick to ditch something for the newest and "better" product. We spend SO MUCH money and time implementing it and then its not even around a year later. How about we get some teachers together and have them create something that works and is amazing AF and then use it.....yeah?

There are so many more things that teachers and more importantly, students, need. Something needs to change now. Not someday, not in 10 years, NOW. Our future depends on these kiddos and we aren't doing everything in our power to protect and help them. I bet you $1,000,000 (that I don't have) that if we started fixing the root of the problem, a lot of these tragedies wouldn't be happening or at least not as many. This is too much. The world is not becoming a greater place....it is our responsibility to fix this.



I would also really love to have these lawmakers and Mr. President come spend a week in my class.....then maybe we can talk about what I NEED....

Sacrifice

I have a lot of feelings on this topic.
As teachers we sacrifice all day erryday.
What do we sacrifice you ask?
Well here is a short list:
-bladders, peeing once a day is really not good....
-sanity, if one more student asks me how to do the thing i JUST EXPLAINED THREE TIMES Ill snap
-money, money that we don't have we spend on classroom supplies, decorations, target dollar section and snacks
-sleep, I have legit woken up in the middle of the night before in a cold sweat over something that has happened at school
-health, if one more kid sneezes on me and THEN covers their mouths I'm checking myself into the hospital for an extended stay

However that's not the sacrifice I want to talk about today. I want to discuss when we decided it was okay to sacrifice the safety, mental health and education of the majority of a classroom for the "good of" one student.

This subject is so touchy because as teachers we have vowed to do whatever we can for all of our students....but how far does that go? I have been seeing this a lot lately where one student can destroy a classroom. What do I mean by destroy? Oh I mean legitimately destroy. Throw chairs, tip desks, rip things from the walls and when they are done with the room they move on to the hallway where they wreak havoc on book bags and projects that have been hung on the walls.

Here is where my issues come in.
We preach about students with trauma and how we can help them which I am all for. But do we realize that those students who are destroying things and hitting other students daily and whatever are creating an environment of trauma for the rest of the class.

We are sacrificing the education and safety of 22 for 1...

Students are afraid to be at school because they don't know when they're going to get slapped or punched by another student. They aren't sure when to expect a chair to be thrown through the classroom or a desk to be flipped. They are on edge all day because at any minute those students could snap and create a trauma filled environment.

Am I saying that we need to ship the "bad kids" off immediately? No! I don't think any teacher would say that. But our system of "consequences" are complete shit....sorry I cussed but it makes me really fired up. Students that have substantial behavioral issues need help with fixing their behaviors, I get that, but they also need consequences.

Letting them go to a room and play with a bunch of toys and bounce on balls after they have just destroyed learning for 20 other students in their classroom is NOT OKAY! Do they need a structured environment to get that angry energy out? Sure! But after that there must be a consequence that we stick to. This is a consistent issue that I have seen in so many schools. One student can hit and punch students and teachers all day every day and there is literally no consequence because they are a student who has been identified as having witnessed trauma in their life. Then another student does that and BAM they're sent home....how is that consistent?

Kids aren't stupid....they pick up on that....if we want to fix behaviors we need to figure out a system that treats kids with kindness, compassion and expectations. It is okay to have high expectations of our students....in fact teachers are required to have high expectations for their students academically so why can't we have high expectations behaviorally too?

I clearly don't have the answer...but something needs to change because it is not working. Ask any teacher...they'll agree...

My brain is melting

Well guys....its happening....my brain is melting.

I thought when I became tenured (which I am!) I was going to be golden. I thought that I wouldn't have to worry anymore and my teacher magic would float around the room like sparkly pixie dust and all my kids would fall under my spell and be perfect.

I was wrong...obvi....also I'm being dramatic...I didn't really think I was magical. HOWEVER! I did think that I would feel more prepared in my teacher life this year. I. WAS. SO. VERY. WRONG!!!!!

I swear I walked around the first few days literally thinking "have I done this before?"

The answer of course is: yes

The problem is that things never stop changing! This is a big problem...we keep adding and changing and tweaking and we never give anything enough time to see if it actually works!

If its this hard for freaking adults to follow HOW DO YOU THINK IT IS FOR OUR STUDENTS!?!?!?!??!?!?!?!?! I added a lot of ?!s because it really annoys me.

I might have taken a certain test this afternoon with my babies and it might have been the most stressful and trying thing I've ever done....so maybe the wound is a little too fresh...but I still think we need to stop changing things at the drop of a hat.

"Their points didn't triple with this test!!!"

"I know what to do!!!"

"CHANGE IT ALL!!"

"yesssss yes that will fix it"

We just pile assessments and test and data on teachers and its overwhelming and it forces teachers to focus their energy on things that might not be actually improving students education.

Im not sure if you all know this but teachers aren't perfect....Im sorry I know I just burst SO MANY BUBBLES! But we aren't...we make mistakes and get lost in thought and don't have enough hours in our day and we do our best but when we are overloaded with bologna....our brains become bologna....

Its late (actually its only 9:07 but I literally feel like Ive been awake for 34 hours) and I know im rambling.

But in conclusion if anyone ever says "kindergarten is easy!" to me I am going to make them test 18 little 5 year olds on a computer test where they have to drag and drop, click, move the mouse and find words ON THEIR OWN within the first 15 days of school.....the end goodnight

Were you prepared?

Becoming a teacher requires work....lots of work.....long hours, lots of classes, projects, clinical hours, student teaching and much more.... we come out of college with our degree and our ambition but are we really prepared to manage a classroom completely on our own?

NO!

I will tell you right now that we are not prepared to deal with real life classrooms with real life children and real life drama. THE DRAMA IS REAL GUYS!

I am not here to poo poo my professors and teachers that I had at good ol ISU. They were wonderful. I learned so much and I definitely wouldn't have the teaching skills I have now if I hadn't taken those classes.

The problem I am seeing with the whole education system right now are teachers who have been prepared for a classroom of 17-21 students who listen when you say something, know how to tie their shoes, would never think to cuss at you let alone put a hand on you and have the basic skills to behave in a classroom setting.

The reality....most classroom teachers are faced with students who don't hear you the 1st, 2nd, 3rd or 15th time you give a direction and when you go over to kindly but sternly explain the direction just ONE MORE TIME they tell you to F**K OFF because we "do too much" or they smack their lips at you because HOW DARE YOU try and help them learn....God forbid!

The kicker? This special friend needs to stay in your classroom....this special friend cannot spend his or her day hanging out in the office and let me tell you now that if you try to send said special friend to the office they will come beeboppin back after having a talking to about their disrespect lookin at you like "Im back b**ch" and your blood will boil. It will actually boil.

I am getting off topic.

I've been chatting with a coworker lately about how colleges need to teach teachers how to properly manage a classroom. These classes need to be taught by ACTUAL TEACHERS! Teachers who are still actively teaching and can give real life examples and ways to help in different situations.
I did not have this. I don't even remember taking a classroom management class....I might have but it made such little impact on my teaching that Ive literally forgotten about it. I do remember making an entire unit binder with tabs and color coded things and sheet protectors and it was lovely...BUT ASK ME HOW MANY TIMES I HAVE CREATED A UNIT IN MY 5 YEARS?!?!?! never...not once...because thats not real life.

I know I babble and this might not be a cohesive post at all and I KNOW its full of grammatical errors....obviously I didn't take much away from my college English classes...but do you get what I'm saying?

There is such a high turnover rate in teaching because
-yes we are underpaid (you all know it....)
-yes teaching is stressful in any school in any classroom in any city
-yes we purchase a lot of our own materials and thats difficult on our already tiny salaries
-support is sometimes lacking greatly
-but truly I think that there is a big turnover because sometimes teachers are just truly not prepared for what teaching is really like.

Universities need to start having a Coming to Jesus 101 course (I cannot take credit for the name) especially for teachers who are planning to teach in an urban setting. This course will be blunt and straight forward and eye opening.  It will teach real life skills to manage a class when you have to do it all your own. It will point out instances you never thought would happen....

EXAMPLE-student A stands on his table and screams at the top of his lungs throughout your entire math lesson because "HE DOESNT LIKE SCIENCE" which makes no sense...because youre teaching math...but to him, this makes sense and he is PISSED... when you try to get him down he jumps like a lemur from table to table, he then gets to the book shelf....and continues to climb.....you have 20 other students in your room watching this unfold...you call the office and request assistance but NO ONE COMES....what do you do....

Yes that happened to me one year....no I didn't know what to do....I think I cried at lunch that day....

Will this Coming to Jesus class fix our teacher shortage? No. Will we still get burnt out, cry, scream, lose our temper and maybe think about selling our organs to make money when we quit teaching? Yes. However I still think that we need to be better prepared.....I will teach the class, you are all welcome to sign up.... it. will. be. riveting.

Honestly sorry about how long this was....and how scattery it was.....I need spring break....

Crotchety Tuesday

GUYS! I haven't written in so long.....I've been struggling to find something to write about this year and I'll tell you why..... My students this year are so good. Like so so good. I take like 5% credit.....they totally came to me like this.

Usually I write about my students struggles and the things they've taught me, and while I have learned a lot about myself as a teacher this year that's not why I'm writing today.

Lately I have been feeling really hopeless in this career, and I am totally not saying this to get a bunch of sympathy or like an ego boost (however if you feel so compelled.....haha kidding kidding). It is really hard to be a teacher these days....there is always going to be someone higher up making the decisions that impact your classroom every day. Lots of times these higher ups have NO clue what they are talking about. They dole out funds where they think fit and they usually don't have the first clue where the money should actually go.

They make rules and do things that they think will work but in reality it just fluffs* things up entirely and then SURPRISE the problems don't go away and in most cases they get worse.

This whole education system is so flawed and so corrupted in ways that I think that it will never be fixed. This is what has given me that hopeless feeling....I want to fix it but the problem seems too big. There are too many issues that are all pretty big hitters. Basically the education system is the Titanic and we hit that iceberg.....WHAT ARE WE SUPPOSE TO DO!

It also is impossible to keep a brave and professional face when your daily life is so fluffing stressful. I don't have any children that I birthed but you better believe that I have 22 children that I care for like my own during the school day......the worst part is though that most of our students are going through their horrible teenage years and theyre awful to us. They hit, kick, cuss out, lie, go missing, steal, say horribly mean things, outright defy us and refuse to talk to us.

So when our little teens do go haywire we need support to make sure that our other students are still learning....but a lot of times the support isn't there. Sometimes its not the admins fault either...they have rules they have to follow by their higher ups (THOSE DANG HIGHER UPS) and theyre not helpful to anyone!!!

Honestly guys I don't even know what I'm talking about anymore.....basically just being a grumpy little grouch bucket. However these are all real concerns....I just think that there should be a rule in place for anyone that has a hand in making decisions for the education system....you MUST be a teacher for at least 7 years in a public school and have a close personal friend who teaches in a private school before you can make ANY decisions that impact teacher's lives. The end.....JUST BE BETTER EDUCATION SYSTEM! BE BETTERRRRRRRRRR

ALSO. While walking into my apartment today at the end of a very long and stupid day....two guys who were playing a casual game of catch in the WINTER while it was RAINING overthrew the baseball and it hit me square in the back....looking back on it and telling the story to my sister I realize that this is actually a hilarious end to my day....but in the moment it hurt...


The end....most eloquent post ive ever written...

Change is good....right?

Hey guys! Its been a while since I've written on here.....probably because its been SUMMER and the farthest thing from my mind is school. HOWEVER, that beautiful time is coming to a close...school is here. TOMORROW! Pardon me while I go sit in the dark and mourn my freedom, aka take a nap.....guys I don't know if Im going to be able to function without a mid-day nap.....and this is the point where im sure every non-teacher reader is rolling their eyes at me :) but like whatever! I LOVE NAPS!
Im straying from my original intended topic of this post....which im sure ill do a few more times...

This year I will be starting my year at a different school. Still within the same district but just a different building. Can I just stress that this decision to move from my beloved RMS was one of the hardest and still is a pretty hard decision to make/be okay with.

Side note: I am currently writing in a Starbucks trying desperately not to cry but I'm getting misty and I might have to put on sunglasses soon and just pretend im severely hungover or something...

SECOND SIDE NOTE: I had to leave Starbucks and finish my post in my apartment because I didn't want to worry customers with my emotions. 

Anyways. I will spare you the details of why I am making this switch because this post is already going to be long enough. But I am lucky enough to be moving with a few of my best friends and I will be teaching Kindergarten with them. Things like that don't always happen, moving schools with the people you love and teaching on a team together. So I am so grateful for that.

However, I will be leaving some of my other best friends and others are going to different schools as well (just caught a falling tear....you guys....this is bananas...). I knew that someday this would happen, we would move schools and we wouldn't get to teach together, but I didn't think it would happen so soon.....my heart still hurts, I spent the last few days of school crying at my desk because I didn't know what decision to make.

The staff at RMS is incredible. I never thought I would love the people I work with so much. When I first got hired I figured I would make some decent friends and acquaintances and I would be just fine. Little did I know that these people would weasel (in a great way, weasels are adorable) their way into my heart and stay forever.

Am I saying that everyone I worked with was amazing? No. Am I saying that every day was this walk in the park dream? Absolutely not. But I am saying that those times that were hard, and even unbearable were made okay by the weasel people (thats a horrible nickname.....) the people who supported me and made me laugh while I was crying, the people who made inappropriate jokes, the people who built me up as a teacher and told me what I could do to improve myself. These people are the people who I will miss. They are my family. They always will be. And if any of you try and kick me out of the Rough Rider group I am going to cry.

Something else that made this decision so difficult were the kids. My babies. The little turds that you all love hearing about. I will miss seeing them grow up and go on to higher grades. I will miss being able to burden their hurt and give them hugs. I know that there are children everywhere that will need me and I will love them all. But there is something about those littles that you start out with. Ones that have your heart and you just can't shake them. I have a list of teenys that I have specifically asked my RMS teacher friends to keep a loving eye on. Little babes that told me at the end of the year "Miss Philips I know Ill be in 2nd grade next year but I can still come say hi to you right?" And even though I knew I was leaving the building I told them "of course" those kids almost made it harder than my coworkers to leave (no offense coworkers). I know I can always call my RMS family and we can meet up and catch up and I won't lose them. That is something that I can't do with my kids.

RMS will always be where I became a teacher. Those people will always be my family and YOU CANT GET RID OF FAMILY! muahahahhahaha

I thought I would add a picture of the day I got my job at RMS and a picture of my last day at RMS.....

BRB going to cry

The apple and the tree: a true story

This is the true story of an apple that didn't fall far from the tree.

One day a big tree, the kind you see in the dark and scary woods, grew so tall and big that it decided to start giving off fruit. The tree didn't know what it really meant to give off fruit. The tree thought that it could make the fruit and drop it off wherever it pleased and that would be the end of the connection to the tree. Produce and drop. Produce and drop. The tree was a selfish tree and it thought that it was so strong and powerful that any fruit it produced had to be the best fruit in the world. Strong and powerful, just like the tree thought it was. The first time the tree produced a fruit it started off small and fragile, the cutest little apple you ever did see. It was small and needed love. The tree didn't want to love it, the tree was annoyed that it was so small and fragile so it ignored the apple. It spoke unkindly to it and didn't nurture it the way the apple needed. The tree was a lazy tree and an ignorant tree so it did not care about what was best for the apple. The apple eventually fell, before it needed to, but it didn't fall far from the tree. It stayed close and listened to the tree and watched the tree. The apple wanted to be like the tree because it thought that maybe the tree would like it better if the apple was more like the tree. The apple eventually became so much like the tree that it started to put down roots in the ground and grow. It was becoming a big and selfish tree just like the tree that had produced it. Once the apple had grown into a tree it looked to the tree next to it to see if it finally cared about it, but sadly the tree had moved on to producing more little angry fruits that would grow into selfish and ignorant trees. The end.


I know that wasn't the best written story in the world....but you get the point. More and more I see that the problems we are having in schools does not start with the kids and it does not end with the kids. It starts with the parents. They are teaching theses children ALL THE WRONG THINGS! And shockingly enough NONE OF THE RIGHT! Like oh I don't know, the alphabet? And maybe it would be nice to be read to sometimes at home. But instead they are teaching their children how to curse and "whoop that kids ass" because thats how things get handled.

Am I saying that every parent is like this? No. Am I saying that it is the main problem in our school system. YES I AM! You would not believe how many times I have had a kid mouth off to me, put their hands on me, or call other students foul names and not feel any remorse. I call a parent, or the parent is called to the school and what do we see? The parent snaps on me or an administrator, slaps their kid in the head and calls them a foul name and then drags them off for what I can only imagine is a "whoppin" of some kind.

It makes me sick to hear the way 97% of these parents talk to their kids and around their kids. The children get called ugly names and pushed around like the are property. Children are not property, they are humans and they need to be taught and loved and cared for. If you can't raise a child to the best of your ability then oh I don't know mayyyyyybe don't have 10?

I adore my parents. Are they perfect? No. But they raised me with morals and they raised me to be kind. Am I always kind? Yes! Kidding kidding kidding Im not.....but I do my very best to be. When I am hurting, broken, sad, confused, mad, lost, frustrated, in need of comfort or basically any other emotion I go to them. They give advice and I hold it in the highest regard. My parents give great advice I think. Maybe thats because their my parents.....which leads me to my last point I swear.

What hope do these children have for growing up to be functioning and wonderful parts of the world when the people that are raising them and shaping them into the person they become are such total and complete ninnys (for lack of a better term). I mean really. When I was little I did anything my mom said because SHES MY MOM and I trust her opinion over anything else. When these kids parents are teaching them to fight and attack before thinking and talking......What do we expect them to do? Go against what their parents are teaching them from the time they could walk?

I guess Im feeling a bit hopeless because I see how hard teachers work every single day and I see the progress that is made when they are at school and then we hand them over to their "parents" who undo what we have worked so hard to do in mere minutes when they pick up their child and call them a "f**ker" (ps-I don't think I bleeped that out correctly....but you know what I mean). Sometimes I hate adults. They're idiots.

Sorry for the novel.....