The hardest things

I had to wait a few days to post about this because I really wanted to think about what I wanted to say. Usually I just write. And blab. And not make much sense really....but this one is important to me. Last Thursday I had a coworker come up to my room after school and tell me that one of my students was going to a new school starting on Monday. The mom didn't tell anyone, including the kids, and after school just pulled their records. My heart sank. This little boy was special to me. This little boy has a rough family. He has many brothers and sisters who aren't the best role models for him. However, he has the sweetest soul. He is helpful, sweet, emotional and fragile. He works hard and wants to be good. He just has so much working against him. BUT HE HAS MADE SO MUCH PROGRESS! The week before he left was the best week he has ever had! I hardly had to remind him to do anything, he used the sweetest and kindest words when talking to others and he tried so hard in school.

So I ran downstairs hoping to catch him before he left our school for good. I bust through the doors and thankfully he was sitting on the steps while his brothers and sisters ran around him. I sat down next to him and put my arm around him and told him that I heard he gets to go to a new school and how exciting it was! I just looked at me. I asked if he was excited. He shook his head. I said "Oh don't be nervous! I know teachers at that school and they are so nice! They will look out for you!" He looked up at me and had tears in his eyes. You can only guess what happened next.....Miss Philips lost her mind. Niagara came out of my eye balls....instantly. I said in the most stable voice I could manage "Oh don't you worry! I know you'll miss me, and I will miss you, but you're going to do so great" Then he buried his face in my shoulder and kept crying. Guys I'm crying while I write this.....anyways to then make it worse I said "You know I love you buddy right?" and he goes "yes, and I love you" and let out a few little sobs. I mean. I was a wreck. I told him I had to go because I didn't want to 1-make it worse for him and 2-have people think I'm a crazy person. So I left. And proceeded to bawl my eyes out in my room for a few minutes before parent/teacher conferences started. Lovely.

The reason for this post though isn't to make you sad, well maybe a little.....cause I'm a brat....but it really made me realize that I'm scared for my kids when they leave me. Terrified actually. I had a soft spot for this little boy and I like to think that it helped him to progress so much! What if his next teacher doesn't....what if everyone we had accomplished is washed away in days because they don't see the good that I saw. These kids become our hearts and souls as teachers. We pour EVERYTHING into them. Making them better people and smarter people. Its not that I don't trust other teachers. But it is so easy to start the year off with a bad image of a child because of previous teachers opinions or siblings of the student. How is that fair to that child? They come into their school year not standing a chance because of a preconceived notion of who they are. Maybe they just haven't met the teacher that is going to change their life yet, maybe that teacher is you? Maybe not! Maybe they will be awful all year....its likely. Does that mean you won't give them a chance?

And no I'm not saying I've never done this....its kind of hard not to...but especially for this kids who are rough around their edges, all the edges, like jagged cliff rough.....those kids need even more chances. How hard is that? I'll tell you. Its really freaking hard. But I think that in the long term it will make life better. And I'm speaking to teachers, moms, dads, babysitters, myself and basically everyone. Give second chances. If we all took a moment before judging a person or child based on something we've heard, maybe this world will be a little happier? I don't know its just a thought.