Just a teacher

This is less of a blog post and more of a list. A list of what teachers do besides teach. WE ARE A LOT MORE THAN JUST TEACHERS! You guys the list is loooooonnnnnng and pretty on point. Ive been thinking about this for a while now......

( I can't decide between numbers, bullets or letters.....so I might do a mixture, you'll be alright)

1.Teacher-Ill start with the obvious. We are in charge of little tiny people's educations! Like if that isn't scary......idk what is....especially since my grammar is sub-par and I use phrases like idk....in conversation.

2.Therapist-our kids come to us and they aren't able to leave their problems at the door. Let me tell you how many days have been ruined because siblings "called me names!" or "dad yelled at me this morning" its our job to try and help them forget the things that are consuming their lives

*Counselor-I consider this and therapist a little different. There are days where we have to deal with things that are way heavier than being called a mean name. We have students who didn't sleep or eat over the weekend because mom didn't come home or there were people at their house all weekend drinking beer and being loud. This is when we sit on the floor, hug it out, cry with them. Whatever they need in that moment, we give it to them.

D)Mother/Father-Some of our little lovelies aren't taught how to treat others with respect and kindness. They are taught to lash out and get even. Not all of them, but this is a common thing we see in my school. There are students who you can just see the good in. They so badly want to be good, do the right thing and make people happy, but they are surrounded with negative reactions to kindness. Thats where teacher-mom and teacher-dad come in. We instill goodness into these kids. 

E)Mistake maker- I know this isn't officially a paid position in the world....but it should be (I would be rich). Kids think that if they make a mistake they are bad. They think that when they make a mistake everyone is going to hate them and that they are stupid. WROOOONNNNNG. Making mistakes is how you become smarter!

6.Nurse- Children are prone to scratching things, cutting things, bumping things and bruises.

*Tailor- Its a common thing to see a teeny tiny person walk into school with an oversize shirt, large pants that don't fit or no coat during the winter months. Did you know that a zip tie works as a belt? If you were a teacher i bet you did.....

8. Comedian-We are hilarious. Completely. The best way to a kids heart is through listening and laughing.

I) Creative genius- try teaching a bunch of kids about math and making it FUN! Try to explain a noun with 98% active engagement. Never leave your class under stimulated. Rigorous and exciting lessons are a must.......always.....its super easy.....sense my sarcasm.....(thats a sub-category of this, sarcastic genius)

10. Police officer/bouncer- This has become a new trend in schools. Teachers have to protect themselves and other students from things that put them in danger, be it an outside source or a student in the room. It is a teachers job to protect their kids. I saw this article that said "When did it become my job as a teacher to take a bullet for your kid", I get where they are coming from. And maybe I don't see it like everyone else because I don't have kids or anything. But I honestly think that any teacher in my building would protect their students by any means necessary. It kinda comes with the job. You have to have a heart for kids. If you do, youll want to protect them. That one was longer than I intended.....

Anyways....my point, in a very long and drawn out way is that we are not JUST teachers. We are much more and I am so proud to work with people every day that remind me of that.

Hello, its me

Ill be the first to admit that I haven't been on top of my blog posts this year. This year has not been the easiest. I have let myself get sucked into the grumpy-ness of Woe-is-me-ville and haven't appreciated as much as I should. The big girl thing to do would be to make a declaration of change and stop the pouting.....honestly I probably won't do that. BUT THAT IS NOT WHAT THIS IS ABOUT! I am forcing myself to look at the good. I have been focusing on the bad for far too long and I'm done. So here we go!

The Good in 1st Grade

• the cute little projects that we get to do with our kids
• sharing things that you loved to do as a child, like how I made my kids watch the 1995 Macys Day parade before break because most of them had never seen it before.....
• When a student who is normally a terror tells you that they love you. They would not say it if they truly didn't mean it
• coworkers who have your back, I cannot express how lucky I am to have people at my job who I know I can trust and count on
• Sarcasm. Its like my second language. When I am incredibly frustrated with a student it comes in really handy. Keeps me sane and thankfully my students are young enough that they don't really get it yet
• their giggles, seriously cute sometimes
• Middle school students who are amazing, I super love the kind and respectful students who you can just tell are going to be great adults
• Books. I adore a good children's book, come to think of it.....I need a new one
• HOLIDAY BREAK, its needed. by everyone. 

Tis the season to be thankful :) and I have many reasons to be. 

Do you know?

I cannot even begin to tell you how heavy my heart is tonight......I will tell you why, in a second, and I will also just let you know that this post has almost nothing to do with my students so this is your out now to stop reading.

First I want to tell you guys how incredibly important it is to have an amazing administration in a school. I will explain; imagine! you are on a plane and the mechanics people and whatever make sure that the plane is all safe and all the bolts are tight and that it is safe to fly, and then the people in the tower make sure that the air is clear for takeoff and things look good! And then the pilot and the co-pilot are sitting in the cockpit and they're blind, and they also love to drink heavily. AND they don't have hands so like....I don't know.....THEY LITERALLY CANNOT FLY THE PLANE! And low and behold...you crash. Its pretty much the same exact thing with a school. The teachers and the support staff and the secretaries and everyone else in the school can work their tail ends off to do the best job possible and keep their classroom in check, but if the administration isn't on their game, if they're a bunch of handless-blind-partying pilots......well the school will crash and burn.

Maybe thats dramatic....but in all reality it isn't. A teacher can only do so much without amazing supports from their administration.

With that being said. I have come to admire, appreciate, depend on and cherish one of my administrators. They have been given this amazing opportunity to move on in our district and they completely and absolutely deserve it. I have never met a person more giving and devoted to their job and the people that their job impacts. Tomorrow is their last day with our school and selfishly I wish that it wasn't. She has done more for our school and the children in it than she will ever know. She is the most humble and wonderful person. I am almost positive whoever replaces her will not be able to fill her shiny blue shoes.

I would not have been able to push through some of my days if I didn't have the support from her that I had received. She has made me a more confident teacher and I don't honestly know how I'm going to function without her.....as I sit here being a huge baby and maybe crying a little I am going to reflect on some of my favorite times with her:

-She read The Book With No Pictures to our 1st grade classes last year and they were in stiches over how funny and entertaining she was.
- She is a fierce disciplinarian, she always enforces fairness, respect for all human kind and love. Tough love sometimes...but love non the less.
-When she popped into my room last year and my student wanted to read her a dinosaur book he had, so she ran into the hall and came back into my room with her arms inside her shirt growling and snorting like a T-Rex.
-When she is ALWAYS willing to give a teacher a break if they are at their whits end, which I know never happens....
-Her intense love for the Cardinals
-How selfless she is, she will work even if she is super freaking sick.....and rock while doing it
-When she came out and played with our students at recess. THEY LOVED IT 


I am going to miss her horribly bad. I know she will still be around, but I just wanted her to know how much she truly meant to me and pretty much everyone I know in our school. We love her. And even though she hates hugs and little people touching her, she is going to get a TON of little people and big people hugs tomorrow. 

Is this real life?!

YOU. GUYS.

Amigo numero tres. My special friend that couldn't be cracked. The locked box of crazy. I CRACKED THE EGG! I cracked the egg, scrambled them, made breakfast and served that breakfast to everyone. AND IT WAS THE BEST BREAKFAST EVER!

Some things that I hadn't experienced yet with this student: a full conversation/sentence with big kid words, manners or a calm reaction to a situation that wasn't easy for him to handle.

Today I experienced them ALLLLLLLLLLLLL

While we were outside at the playground for recess he came up to me and said "um teacher, my teacher I have something to say to you, thank you for letting me come out and play at the park today" I wanted to cry,  I don't think I spoke for a good 30 seconds because I was processing the words that were said to me. KIND WORDS! Words that were completely unprompted. Granted, he called the playground the park....but I would have accepted it if he had called it freaking Six Flags. It was amazing.

THEN! Then we were doing centers and he walked up to me and said "This person in my group is being kind of a bully to me, I don't like it" ummmmmm wait. You didn't hit them? You didn't scream? What is happening. Are you alright? Are you sick? Let me check your temp. Guys he was fine! He was just being rational.....I almost peed my pants.

AND FINALLY! We were walking to the office so I could brag on him a little to anyone who would listen, or not listen I didn't really care. Anyways, we were walking in and he said "You know what feels good? Being kind to people." Little dude you are so right! It does feel good.

Now. Do I expect this to continue? No..........I hope it does! But like there are just these special days that happen and they help the teacher breathe and continue to come to school and power through.

I needed this day. He needed this day. Everyone needed this freaking day.

Here's to having more of these days! Cheers

The glory days......

The title of this blog is totally a joke because these days are anything but glorious. Let me tell you right now, the past 5 weeks have been a blur, a sweaty, hot, tired and cranky blur. Has it all been bad? Nooooooooo but it hasn't been good either. I think any teacher, no matter where they are will tell you that the first few months of school are really difficult. They are given a brand new batch of kids who aren't use to their class, their rules and their ways of teaching. Thats hard! For the kids and the teacher.

Ill just tell you how my life has been going. Because I know thats what you all are here for anyways ;), all about me haha

The first week proved to be a challenge, I have some very special and needy friends. Three in particular that require undivided attention from an adult at almost every moment of the day. I mean if I had 8 arms and the ability to be in 3 places at one time, we would be golden. But considering that I have 2 arms and I move at the speed of a sloth (I actually love sloths....so I don't consider that an insult but you get it, I'm slow) these kiddos are running me ragged.

One special little kiddo loves to sing, but not twinkle twinkle little star.....noooo his musical taste is more leaning towards Rhinna "bitch better have my money" and the song "Sexy Bitch"......and man does he love to sing, loudly, during maaaaathhhhh and silent reading and in the lunch line. Poor thing doesn't realize that those words aren't appropriate so he sings with pride. Bless his little musical soul. He also called me "lil mama" once......but thats beside the point.

Friend number 2. This friend requires patience, all of them do, but he requires a lot. He needs calm words and love and reminders. I mean who doesn't need those things really. But he is also adjusting to my teaching and who I am, I think this has been hard for both of us, because especially when its hot outside, its even hotter in the building and tempers run short. We have made a little bit of progress and we will continue to make more, but its going to require to me to breathe and pray....lots...

Amigo numero tres- (if I was super cool and bilingual I would write this section in spanish...but Im not....soooo I won't) I saved the best for last, and by best I mean most challenging and frustrating. I haven't cracked this egg yet. Usually by now I have found out what makes a student tick and we can come up with a plan to help the student be successful. Nope, not this little dude. I fully believe that he was put with me for a reason, there are things that I need to work on as a teacher and I think he will help me do that. Does this mean I'm like totally pumped and looking forward to this? Not in the slightest bit, I'm actually terrified that I will fail this student. I don't want to be defeated, thats pretty selfish I guess....but I want to like change this little man and make him the best student.....I want that for him but like 93% for myself. Which is completely selfish.....I can be selfish.....guys I'm not perfect...I know you thought I totally was..

So in conclusion. This year has 3 possible outcomes for my life:

1-I rock it out as a teacher and everything is perfect (unlikely)
2-I become an alcoholic (kidding......)
3-I make huge mistakes and try to learn from them, cry frequently and take naps (im thinking this one will come true because it already happens...)

This is how we do it

So. I started to write a few months ago about how it was finally summer and all the amazing plans I had and blah blah blah. I was feeling pretty UN-motivated to write, shocking, so I said to myself "Self, you have ALL SUMMER! You can write later" fast forward to right now. Its the last night of summer.....and I NEVER WROTE! This brings me to my first point. Summer isn't long enough.....that's basically the whole point....moving forward.


SCHOOL BEGINS IN 5 DAYS!
Thats not even a week.....I can't handle this. This will be my 4th year teaching so basically im a pro right? hahahahahahahahhhahahahahahhahahha no. Honestly I don't think I will be prepared to begin a new year ever.

Let me just list out some feelings I'm having, fellow teachers tell me if you are having some of the same feelings....if you aren't I might need some therapy....I might need that anyway....whatever.

The List of Teacher Emotions:
-Anxious-what if the kids hate me, what if theyre mean....do I even remember how to teach?!?!?! OH MY GOSH WHAT WILL MY HANDWRITING LOOK LIKE-in my case the answer is "it always looks terrible so youre good" which is true
-Exhaustion-I have spent the last 2 months catching up on the sleep I didn't get during the year, now I am waking up and preparing a classroom and just being in the school makes me need a nap by 1 and school doesn't end until 3:30 sooooooooo can we re-instate nap time? Through high school....awesome.
-Excitement-I love having a schedule, I love folders, I love pens, I really do love my kids. I love setting up a classroom and having things look cute. This will be good.
-Complete brain fog-This is something that usually happens while setting up your room. I know this happens to me sometimes while teaching too but shhhhhhh don't tell (which i completely understand is silly to say because Im writing it on a blog....) sometimes things are so overwhelming that you just stand and stare at things. And there literally isn't a single thought going through your head. This can go on for a few seconds or in serious times it lasts for like 5 minutes....
-Giddiness(is that seriously a word?!?!)-This is the feeling you get when you think about seeing some of your best friends on a daily basis and having funny things happen at work and laughing and laughing and laughing forever
-Terror-This is the feeling you get after the giddiness wears off because you remember the terrifying moments that happen sometimes. When youre dying with the flu but you have to come to school because there aren't enough subs to cover classes and you would rather suffer than screw over a coworker. Or when a mouse enrolls in your class without permission. Or when you get 8 new kids in a week.....
-Peace-This is my final feeling tonight. I am ready to do this. No matter what my classroom looks like, no matter if things are in their spots. No matter if my posters fall off the wall. I know that none of it matters  because I am doing what I am suppose to be doing. These kids change my life for the better each year and I cannot wait to see how I change this year. I know most teachers feel this way. Their students are their kids, they take up space in your heart and they stay there for a very long time. Its the best feeling.

This is how we do it. Bring it on.

This has changed me

There are things as a teacher that change you. They change teacher you and they change you you. Lets be honest here people, all teachers have their "teacher" self and then they have their real self. But anyways. Sometimes its a situation and sometimes its a child. This year, what changed me was a child. A very special, difficult, frustrating, creative and smart child. He honestly changed me as a teacher. He will never know that. He will never fully understand what he did for me.

I am writing about him because he transferred to another school this past Friday and it ripped my heart out. If I could have pulled a Miss Honey with this little man I would have.

This little dude forced me to become more patient, which I needed to work on anyways.....I know, you're all shocked! He forced me to realize that actually getting to know your students and their lives really does make a difference. I mean I already knew that but like this really showed me how important it is.

He has had to go through more in his short little life than I may ever have to go through. Thats not fair. He quickly became a favorite of the school. Was he an angel? NO! He was quite the opposite actually. He was a holy terror. BUT he needed love. He craved love. He got love and he changed. I changed.

I remember when he walked into my line the first day of school. He walked up BOUNCING with energy. In my head I was thinking "oh crap oh crap oh crap, this kid is going to run me ragged" and I was definitely right, my first impressions are spot on, basically always. What I wasn't prepared for was the way he would weasel his way into my heart and stay.

I hope that I was comfort for him. Stability for him. He didn't have those things in his life. He deserves those things. All children deserve that.

I will miss him terribly. I hope to keep tabs on him the rest of the year.....mayyyyyybe longer. I just can't shake this kid. If anything, I will always have the grey hairs he has caused me to get.....He has taken up space in my heart and I am forever grateful to have gotten to teach him.

Let's not settle

I think there are like 2 different parts to this blog. Theyre semi connected but like not really but whatever.

okay. 

Part 1-There are days where things are crazy. Things aren't going right, students are freaking nuts, the day flies by and I don't know if I actually taught anything and somehow.....somehow I don't lose my mind. Somehow I am actually happy and not stressed. Does this happen all the time? ABSOLUTELY NOT. Those days that it does happen are good days! The hallways are like a jungle and I keep on teaching. My student doesn't like that its time for math and flips a desk, and I walk over and hold his hand and walk around with him. I feel like I have my teacher emotions under control even though things around me are crumbling.


These days are far and few between. I had one a couple weeks ago. It was nice. Did it last? Nope.

Teaching is really emotional guys! Even if you're not an emotional person. Like me. I am usually stone cold. Jayyyyyy Kayyyyyyyy I am like a rubber band ball of emotions. I live in a glass case of emotions. Its outrageous.

Part 2-But really like when did the crazy become the standard. When did it become okay for students to run around screaming profanities at adults and other students? When did we settle for "eh" behavior? When I was in school there weren't incentives to act properly. I know that sounds like super old ass of me.....but I'm 26, so chill. Now don't get me wrong, I am all for rewarding and praising students who are consistently amazing. But sometimes I think that we reward the bad to keep them from becoming worse and we brush the good students to the side. Then guess what? The good students catch on, because they're smart, and the good students figure out that if they start acting out they'll get things. There has to be another way. I intend to find out. I actually might have? Here is what I think it is"

The Holy Grail: relationships. its true. Some people rock at it! Some people blow. And guesssssss what. You can freaking tell. It is SO important to know your kids, make them feel like you care. Make your kids want to make you proud. Set expectations, take time, listen, hug, smile. Be someone that you would want to be around.

Does it always work? No. But its worth a try. And hey, its free to be a KIND PERSON! You won't have to buy candy and little prizes to bribe them. WIN FREAKING WIN. Try it. Let me know how it works.

Ps-I realize that there were actually like 2.5 parts to this......sorry Im not sorry 

Dear education system

HI GUYS! Its been a while since we've talked! 3 weeks almost I think! 3 weeks since Christmas break...dang...its been cold, snowy, wet, grumpy and rude. I'm not just talking about the weather. Im talking about me, the kids, other teachers, the kids......me......and the weather. This time of year is especially stressful for students and teachers. Testing. Testing. Testing. Its basically a curse word.....testing......it makes teacher's blood pressure rise which in turn cuts their patients in like half. So I am writing a letter to the education police, the people who make decisions and standards and rules for teachers. The people who may have never taught a day in their life, but hey! They know best.....


Dear Education Police,

Hi, I have some questions. Feel free to answer these at your leisure because, as I know (being a teacher) free time is hard to come by. I can only imagine you are visiting schools and collecting data and information on how well your policies are impacting the schools and more importantly the CHILDREN of America :) Anyways! I understand the importance of collecting data to insure that what you are doing is making a difference. I realize that there needs to be standards. I realize that. I get it. However. I have been running into the same problem over and over again and I hope you can help me come up with a solution. See, here is the deal, there is SO much data collection, testing and progress monitoring that I am struggling to find the time to actually teach? I don't know maybe this is silly.......but there are only so many hours in the school day, and I'm quite sure that we won't start keeping students at school until 8 PM. When I was in grade school, which wasn't long ago...Im only 26, I don't recall having to do all of this. I was a very observant child. I would remember. Somehow I learned, and so did my peers! We learned things! School was so fun! We had projects and were creative. Now in school I feel like students HAVE to learn so many things, and are required to meet so many standards that the joys of learning have been totally killed. How is this fair to them? How is it fair to their teachers? Personally I went into education because I LOVE to teach. I DO NOT love to collect data, analyze, test, stress over numbers, present data and monitor data. If I wanted to do that crap daily I could, somewhere else, and get paid more.....To actually teach to the best of our ability, teach everything we want/need to teach our children, and do all of this extra business, we need to have like 3 teachers in every classroom. THIS IS CLEARLY NOT GOING TO HAPPEN. First, because there are not enough people who want to teach which is sad. Second, there is not enough money. Which brings me to another point, our education system is completely crumbling. Failing miserably....we are cutting programs like the arts and forcing state testing on students. If you haven't noticed, its not working. Lets look back at the years where our education system WAS working. What are the differences? I am sure you will find some. We don't have money to fix these problems? Oh shoot.....you're right.....hmmmmm well fine. Let's just forget the education system because its not like these kids are the future of America. Lets keep spending money elsewhere and just cross our cute little fingers that we find some money in our couch cushions. So I would love to hear any useful suggestions you may have.

Sincerely,
A Frustrated Teacher

Wonderful

Today was completely wonderful. It was what I needed on the first day back. I was expecting crazy! I was expecting stressful. I got sweet, respectful and ready to learn. Towards the end of the day I was so proud of one of my students I actually cried a little. If I am too happy I cry and if I am too sad I cry......its awesome.

The first day back to school after a long break is usually rough. Kids have been chillin with their friends and like staying up late and eating straight up sugar in the form of canes and then they come back to school and its like a little Christmas break rehab for a week. They freak out. A SCHEDULE?!?!?!?! RULES?! No. They do not take it well. Also cabin fever. Its real. Its ugly. We are in for a long winter of no recess and I don't know who will survive. Whoops.....sorry for that tangent. Anyways. The first day back is usually dark, but mine wasn't.

It started like this:

I was out in the hall (actually excited to see my kids) and they walk in, not run, and I welcome their cute little faces in. They sit and eat breakfast and work on their morning work and things are good. Then I see the brother of one of my roughest and most special kids. I say "Oh hey *student* where is *brother student*" little man says "oh he's coming" I wait a few minutes expecting to see him BUST up the stairs and down our hallway. What do I get instead? A perfect angel walking down the hall he says "Hey Miss Philips! I missed you!" and then gives me a big hug. Cue heart overflowing with love.

Side note: I did only have 13 kids show up to school today, this could have been a big factor in my great day. However, I don't care. It was still great.

Then we read a story and I asked deep thinking questions and the kids answered them well and had other questions and it was awesome.

One of my fellow 1st grade teachers had to save something from a urinal (its not as uncommon as you would think) and we prayed to Jesus to save her from pee germs and it made me laugh really hard. And I was thankful again for the people I work with. They are friends who are also coworkers.  

Then the kids went to their arts classes and were also AMAZING! Which does not happen regularly. I give MAJOR props to arts teachers. I cannot imagine how hard it is to have like 400 students.....couldn't do it.

Then lunch arrived and one of my other rough little babes was a SUPER STAR STUDENT. Like. I can't even. I don't think I can even tell these kids sometimes how proud I am of them. The only way I know how is to squeeze the life out of them and force them to hug me back and do little happy dances and giggle because I am so happy. Happy beyond words.

Then it was math time (poke me in the freaking eyes) (If Miss Philips has 2 eyes and she pokes both of them out how many eyes does she have left? Write a number bond showing your answer. And draw a picture. And a number sentence.) BUT SHOCK OF MY LIFE MATH WENT WELL! The kids got it. They smiled. We got silly and they were able to bring it back. And then we took a little quiz thing and almost all of them got a 100!!!!! Holy wonderful.

And then we did math centers and some of my kids were in a little argument (typical) and my special friend, lets call him Sea Biscuit because he loves horses, like LOVES THEM. Anyways, Sea Biscuit (I hope you guys think his nick name is as funny as I do....) he is next to the group that is in a tiff. He leans over and goes "Yall, yall, listen to me, yall. If you turn over a shark you put all your pieces back. Then its the next persons turn. You will get another turn its not that big of a deal. Keep playing, go on" Thats when I cried....he was like a little tiny adult. I say things that like ALL THE TIME. He listens.

I realize that my day wasn't the norm probably, do I hope it is? ABSOLUTELY. But I left work in the best freaking mood. And I am still in that mood. I never want to lose it.

Sorry for the longest blog ever......

Actually I'm not. You don't have to read it. You chose to.

Btw thanks for reading my blog (I hate the word blog) I appreciate you. 

Teacher Resolutions

Hi! I feel like I haven't written since last year (ha ha ha you can thank my dad for my awful sense of humor....)

But seriously....I haven't written for a while because I haven't had a reason! WE HAVE BEEN ON BREAK! Its been great. Going back to work is going to be hard, because I'll actually have to wake up. Yikes.

However, I'm actually ready. I miss my schedule. I miss my kids. I miss my coworkers. Its time to go back.

There are some things that I need to do as a teacher. Things that will make my life better and my students lives better.

-Get great sleep. To anyone who knows me like at all, you know how much I love to sleep, and naps. But great sleep will improve my mood and hopefully keep me from being a crab apple to my kids.
 -Drink more water, this will improve my everything. I think.
-Prepare my week before its actually happening.  Im a horrible procrastinator....this isn't fair to my kids. Im 26 now.....get it together Ele.
-Organize my classroom......I was suppose to do this over break....Instead I hung out with Netflix and a good book.....procrastinator Ele, tisk tisk

Ill keep you updated on how this all goes down. I'm sure you're all really excited :)